365 Common Phrases Carnists Say to Vegans

Think we haven’t heard them before? We have…

  • Stop forcing your beliefs down my throat!
  • Plants feel pain
  • Our ancestors ate meat
  • Being vegan causes deaths of field mice
  • Canine teeth, though
  • Lions eat meat
  • Why do you make food that tastes like meat?
  • It’s The Food Chain
  • It’s The Circle of Life
  • Animals would go extinct if we didn’t eat them
  • Animals would take over the world if we didn’t eat them
  • What about abortion/poverty/homelessness?
  • Vegans hurt animals by eating their food source
  • I care about people, not animals
  • Its eat or be eaten
  • Vegans are physically weak
  • Where do you get your protein?
  • Being vegan is part of Satan’s plan to make us all weak so he can take over
  • God told us to eat meat
  • Mmm, bacon!
  • Vegans are elitist
  • Vegans are racist
  • Inuit eat meat
  • What if you were on a desert island?
  • Would you eat meat for $1,000,000?
  • Vegans are just virtue signalling
  • Hitler was a vegetarian
  • Its the economy, though
  • Farmers would all lose their jobs
  • Vegans starve their children
  • I once knew a vegan who stole from me/hit me/called me mean names…
  • Vegans just eat rabbit food.
  • Vegans are traitors
  • Vegans are hippies
  • Animals are humanely slaughtered
  • Animals are better off on farms than in the wild
  • Vegan food is boring
  • Real men eat meat
  • We evolved to eat meat
  • Vegans have a lack of nutrients needed for brain development
  • Vegans are snowflakes
  • How do you know somebody is vegan? They’ll tell you (yawn)
  • Animals don’t have feelings
  • Animals are designed and bred as food
  • Vegans hate humans
  • I don’t want to watch slaughterhouse footage, it grosses me out
  • But these are just a few rogue operators, it’s not the norm
  • All the meat I eat comes from happy animals
  • ‘Forcing’ children to be vegan is child abuse
  • What do you feed your cats/dogs?
  • But you are wearing leather/wool/animal tested make-up etc.
  • Methane is a short lived gas
  • Money/tyres contain animal products. If you use money/tyres you are a hypocrite.
  • What? Not using money/tyres? That’s so extreme!
  • You only say animal abuse is wrong because you are a vegan
  • If you are not a vegan, you can’t say animal abuse is wrong, or you are a hypocrite.
  • Nobody will ever stop eating meat
  • It’s OK if it is halal/kosher
  • Why are you bullying me by making me look bad?
  • Killing is necessary for life
  • Hunters respect their quarry
  • Fishing is good family entertainment
  • Rodeo is good family entertainment
  • You know nothing of reality
  • Vegans wouldn’t survive in the ‘real’ world
  • If you didn’t eat the animal they would eat you.
  • Being vegan is an eating disorder
  • Being vegan is a mental illness.
  • What about food miles for fruit and veges?
  • We need animals for manure (because seven billion humans aren’t enough)
  • We need animals to feed the world population
  • There are some nutrients we can only get in meat
  • What about child labour making the computer parts you are using?
  • Hunters/fishermen are true conservationists.
  • Hunting is a spiritual experience
  • Opposing halal slaughter is Islamaphobia
  • Opposing kosher slaughter is anti-Semitism
  • I dare you to protest in South Auckland then
  • Vegans should be punched in the mouth.
  • How dare you compare the torture of 70 billion animals to the holocaust?
  • How dare you compare sexual assault of animals to human rape?
  • Being vegan is just based on emotion.
  • They are ‘calves’, not ‘babies’
  • Anthropomorphism, though.
  • Persuading Maori to go vegan is another form of colonisation.
  • Animals just don’t matter
  • Only humans matter, just because they are human
  • Global climate change is a conspiracy
  • Even if global climate change is real, we shouldn’t mention it because it frightens children
  • Likewise, we shouldn’t mention what goes on in slaughterhouses.
  • Global climate change is elitist scaremongering
  • Being vegan is unnatural.
  • Its okay to exploit those less intelligent than us
  • No animal has ever built a cathedral
  • Animals can’t appreciate classical music
  • If God didn’t intend for us to eat animals, why did He make them out of meat?
  • If God didn’t intend for us to eat animals, why make them so tasty?
  • Binocular vision, though.
  • What will we do with all the liberated animals?
  • All pets would die out if we went vegan
  • Humanity would die out if we went vegan
  • There are more important things to worry about
  • Get a job!
  • Get a life!
  • It’s your dog or your baby
  • All medical progress has only been because of animal experiments
  • Vegans are anti-science
  • Vegans are anti-life
  • It’s pests or native animals
  • Possums are ‘evil’
  • Killing possums is wholesome entertainment
  • Humiliating corpses is wholesome entertainment
  • Animals are safer in zoos than in the wild.
  • Slaughterhouses are well regulated
  • Rodeo is well regulated.
  • Animal experimentation is well regulated
  • Factory farms are well regulated
  • Eating meat is ‘normal’
  • But we love animals, even though we eat them.
  • Animals are better off in rodeos
  • Protesting outside a supermarket is ‘terrorism’
  • Disruptive protests are not effective
  • Anything you do will not be effective
  • People have been eating meat for hundred of years
  • Labelling plant based products as ‘burgers’, ‘milk’, etc is unfair to consumers
  • Farm protests are bullying farmers
  • Farmers have to be protected against anyone knowing what goes on
  • How dare you compare animal abuse with slavery?
  • I’m offended!
  • It is vandalism!
  • It’s illegal!
  • Vegans are violent
  • Its just townies picking on farmers
  • What about Auckland’s water pollution?
  • What do scientists know about farming?
  • ‘Earthlings’ is from USA. We don’t do that here
  • ‘Dominion’ is from Australia. We don’t do that here
  • Caring about animals and the environment means you can’t care about me (jealous lover)
  • Catering for vegans is too awkward
  • Vegans are spoiling Christmas
  • But range-land gazing is better for the environment
  • But feed-lots are better for the environment
  • Cows sequester carbon
  • Carbon dioxide is not a pollutant
  • If we didn’t do it, someone else would
  • Morality is subjective
  • It’s more expensive being vegan
  • Most animals eat other animals
  • Vegan women should not refuse sex with meat eaters
  • You don’t know what you are missing
  • You are only looking at one side
  • Not eating animals is extreme
  • They’re not in pain for that long
  • Possums eat birds
  • Animals wouldn’t exist if we didn’t breed them
  • It’s OK. The cow I ate is vegan
  • Lots of places can’t grow crops
  • First world problems
  • It’s cats that are killing dolphins, not nets
  • Fish don’t feel pain
  • But you tread on ants
  • Killing invasive animals is a war
  • Squeamishness is a weakness
  • We don’t hate possums because they threaten our meat and dairy industry, it’s because they threaten our natives
  • Native pukekos are pests
  • Invasive animals deserve to die a horrible death
  • We only like killing because we care so much for the environment
  • Exposing children to violence does not make them more violent. It toughens them up.
  • Leaders of disruptive vegan groups are no better than the Christchurch shooter
  • Hunting is necessary to feed the family
  • Fox hunting is necessary to eradicate foxes, which are pests
  • Fox hunting is necessary to conserve foxes, which are endangered
  • Being vegan actually kills more animals
  • It is vegans who are destroying the Amazon by bingeing on soy beans
  • Animals on live export ships are well looked after
  • Race horses are well looked after
  • Horses are designed to race/buck
  • Animal ‘sports’ can be directly compared to consensual human contact sports like rugby
  • I don’t like your tone!
  • Humans would not be here if we didn’t eat meat
  • Cows like being milked
  • Exposing NZ’s animal cruelty overseas is economic sabotage
  • Angry vegan, though
  • You need some steak inside you
  • Vegans secretly eat meat
  • My food poos on your food
  • Jesus ate meat
  • We must support farmers
  • Farmers love their animals
  • Activists don’t know how to look after animals.
  • I need meat for my blood type
  • The endemic badger is vermin (official Tory policy)
  • We Japanese need to eat meat to be big and strong like Americans (McDonalds Japan)
  • Barbaric Asians, eating dogs!
  • Barbaric Japanese, killing whales!
  • Being vegan is un-American
  • Being vegan is un-Australian
  • Being vegan is Westerners imposing their ideas on us
  • Being vegan is for white people
  • The meat eating cultures are the dominant ones
  • Historically no culture has been completely vegan
  • Farmers are real Stewards of the land
  • If they weren’t happy they wouldn’t lay/give milk
  • The poor need factory farmed meat/eggs for cheap protein
  • Vegan women have hairy armpits (thanks Leonie Bowkett)
  • Vegan men have beards and ponytails
  • Foie gras is not cruel because ducks and geese gorge naturally
  • We must solve all human injustice before worrying about animals
  • It’s better for calves to be separated from their mothers early
  • We need cow’s milk for strong bones
  • We need real fur/down to keep warm
  • Vegan and flexitarian food is gross
  • Nobody asked for a vegan sausage roll (Piers Morgan)
  • Vegans can only become top athletes because their muscle was built up while they were still eating meat (also Piers Morgan)
  • Plants contain harmful anti-nutrients
  • All research showing health/environmental harm caused by meat eating is written by vegans
  • It is a conspiracy. Vegans are paid by the vegetable industry
  • It is environmentalists and Hollywood actors who are burning the Amazon
  • Opposing foie gras is anti-French
  • [Sneakily leaving nitrous oxide off GHG calculations]
  • [Sneakily not including land use opportunity costs in GHG calculations]
  • Plants don’t contain high quality protein
  • Meat is not really a carcinogen according to industry-funded research
  • Oh, everything causes cancer according to scientists
  • Vegans don’t really live longer, it just seems like they do
  • If you like animals why are you eating their food?
  • You can use science to prove anything
  • We need to slaughter animals because there is not enough grass
  • I like cheese! (Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern)
  • Fake meats are full of synthetic chemicals, unlike real meat, which is totally natural
  • Bulls in the ring don’t suffer from being stabbed, because of the adrenaline
  • We must respect other cultures
  • Opposing male circumcision is anti-Semitic
  • Opposing female circumcision is Islamophobic
  • But British farms are sustainable
  • But NZ meat is the most sustainable in the world
  • But UK/NZ/Australia has the best animal welfare standards in the world
  • I’m doing you a favour eating cows by freeing up more plants for you
  • [General yelling of abuse]
  • For every steak you don’t eat I will eat two
  • Everyone is entitled to an opinion
  • Letting a calf live kills babies
  • I love MY meat
  • Don’t you have anything better to do?
  • Just leave the country if you don’t like it
  • Where would we be without the meat/dairy industry?
  • We are living longer because of factory farming
  • Keep your mitts of OUR steak and we’ll keep ours off your tofu
  • We can’t afford to be sentimental
  • GM ryegrass is the future. We love GM
  • GM plant based meat is frankenfood
  • Soy gives you man boobs
  • Vegans only eat GM soybeans
  • It’s better for calves to be separated from their mothers
  • But sows always crush their piglets
  • Sows have to be in crates so they don’t get sunburn
  • It’s better for hens to be in cages
  • Should we test all cosmetics on you then?
  • [Pointedly eats KFC at vegan protests]
  • Eating KFC at vegan protest is the act of a hero
  • Vegans have smelly farts
  • Do you swat mosquitoes?
  • Killing animals for meat isn’t cruelty because it is for a purpose
  • Killing sentient beings isn’t murder because murder is only a legal term
  • Water is not vegan. Fish poo in it
  • Animals only exist for us to eat them
  • [Jokes about ‘saved his bacon’, when a pig escapee is reprieved from slaughter]
  • [On seeing a picture of a cute animal] Yum!
  • How would you like it if I protested outside your house?
  • Millions of Asians depend on our milk powder
  • ‘Billions’ of babies depend on cow’s milk
  • Vegans will be responsible for more farmer suicides
  • Highly specialised diets like veganism leads to extinction
  • But you’re breaking the law. That’s terrible!
  • Vandal!
  • Veganism is a cult
  • Veganism is a religion
  • Men only pretend to be vegan when their wives are looking
  • Vegans hate vegetarians
  • Cows enjoy being slaughtered
  • Hunting is in our DNA
  • Vegetarian = Indian word for bad hunter
  • Vegans think they are superior to everyone
  • How can you know what animals want?
  • Cow/sheep heat is implied consent
  • The more animals we eat the less impact on the environment
  • I hypnotise animals before killing them to prevent suffering
  • Beef farmer: ‘I love my dogs. They understand everything I say’.
    Vegan: ‘Interesting. Do your cows understand everything you say?’
    Beef farmer: ‘Don’t be stupid.’
  • I need meat for iron
  • Earthlings/Dominion/Game Changers is a manufactured documentary
  • Vegans are being paid by Soros/The UN/aliens to spread propaganda
  • While also being unemployable no-hopers
  • Veges are all GMOs. E.g. bananas don’t have seeds.
  • Cows’ milk is so necessary for Asian babies. the Chinese are smuggling it in
  • If everyone ate only plants, there would be too many corpses littering the Earth
  • Plants produce oxygen, so vegans are killing the plants that protect the Earth
  • Vegans are all malnourished
  • Breast feeding is gross. Better to give babies formula
  • “Go and tell the caveman not to eat the dinosaur”
  • If we are not supposed to eat fish, how come we can swim?
  • For a working man they can’t eat enough veggies. They would explode
  • Vegans only eat grass
  • I am an animal rights advocate. And I eat meat
  • Violence is just the way the world is
  • Chicken is not an animal
  • If you give head you can’t be vegan
  • By not eating meat, animals die for no reason
  • Cows produce milk all the time, pregnant or not
  • How about we give free contraception to the third world, instead of us making all the sacrifices?
  • The whaling is all for research
  • Rodeo/bullfighting/foie gras is part of our culture
  • Photos and trophies are actually honouring the animal
  • Plant based is a conspiracy by the pharmaceutical industry to make us sick
  • It’s fart tax. Snigger, snigger
  • They serve vegan food at meat restaurants. Why no meat in veg*n restaurants?
  • [Posting GIFs of meat]
  • Would veganism be a thing without social media?
  • Why don’t you campaign for more humane slaughter instead?
  • Hunting/fishing is OK, because the animals have a sporting chance
  • We have to have zoos/aquariums to teach children about conservation
  • Vegan fabrics are more destructive than wool or leather
  • You need to campaign one issue at a time
  • Campaigning on issue X? What about issue Y?
  • It’s a fad diet
  • It’s the same as gluten free
  • Animal meat is better than plant meat because it only contains one ingredient
  • Vegans only eat processed plant based meat, which is unhealthy
  • Meat is more concentrated protein
  • All doctors say we need meat
  • Do you know that everybody hates you?
  • It’s so negative being against things all the time
  • “I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain….” (yawn again)
  • [Response to any veg*n post] I’m going to eat a steak now
  • Chickens don’t live long enough for us to be concerned about them
  • I’d hate to be your kids
  • Have a steak to calm down
  • Insects die in harvesters
  • Salads can cause food poisoning
  • Writing ‘FACT’ after something magically turns it into a fact
  • Next, you’ll be saying we should give the pigs nappies (response to concerns about pigs
    wallowing in their own excrement)
  • We must be realistic here
  • So what do you eat?
  • Asceticism is not a proper Buddhist response
  • Halal slaughter is humane
  • I can design slaughterhouses where the animals don’t know what will happen to them …
  • Because my autism gives me a special empathy for animals – Temple Grandin
  • Aggressively shouting down vegan guests on talk-back because they are ‘aggressive’
  • “I’m a Catholic and they’re taunting my pope!” – Piers Morgan again.
  • Vegans are ‘militant’
  • Menstruating women need iron from meat
  • Body builders need meat
  • Everyone has different physiology. Some people need meat
  • People with pernicious anaemia need meat
  • Its political correctness gone mad!
  • 99% of farmers look after their animals
  • Baby animals don’t feel pain, so mutilating them is OK
  • This includes humans, so mutilating their penis is OK
  • I support animal welfare but not animal rights
  • It’s the Great Chain of Being (religious)
  • It’s Evolution (atheist/non-religious)
  • Who cares about the future? Jesus is coming soon anyway
  • Jesus doesn’t care about animals
  • ‘Quick, the wife’s gone out! Go and grab a steak pie while she isn’t looking, bet you want to’
  • “This is corporate bullying specifically designed to damage my mental health. I’m now a vegan victim”. Piers Morgan

Huge thanks to Michael Morris for taking the time to compile this list.